To the South...
Federales admit having been lying for many years.
The administration of Vincente Fox it
truly working towards their goal of eliminating the corruption in government.
Now, the Fedarales have been forced to admit that they might not have actually
killed "Pancho Villa" all those
years ago. In the last month, "Pancho"
and his partner "Lefty" have been
reported to have been terrorizing the border towns of Mexico. Pictures received
recently at Intergallactic Headquarters indicate that "Pancho
and Lefty" are alive, well and rumored to be staying with
Elvis somewhere in far south Texas. Analysist have speculated
that "Pancho" might have teamed
up with "Lefty" again after all
of these years because: "he can sing the blues,
all night long like he used to...". The two are reportedly singing
songs about the new way of life along the border like "Old
age and treachery always overcomes youth and skill..." Terrified
citizens along the border have taken to calling the outlaws as "Dos
Snowbirds" and are petitioning the Mexican government to pass
legislation requiring the border to the USA be strengthened to keep such riffraff
out of the country. The Mexican government has enlisted the consulting help
of the seasoned professional "North Texas Coast
Watchers" as they just happened to be visiting at the time.
In his professional opinion, Ray says: "They're
not dangerous, don't worry! Except maybe that one on the left. He tried to hit
me with a Velvet Hammer."
These events seem strangely connected to the recent visit of the "Veteran Travellers" and the "North Texas Coast Watchers" along with the entire staff of "Zincks East" and many others. I'll schedule interviews with KP and Ray upon their return for detailed information of the sheer terror of being there during this obvious time of crisis, (I'm working on the Wolf Blitzer reporting style because I just like the name, sounds like a reindeer gone bad).
Breaking News
One of the "Veteran Travellers"
has been abducted by Pancho. This photo
shows Pat being held hostage by Pancho
while he's laughing and dictating a ransom note to Lefty.
See how he's pointing the drink at her to keep her quiet? That's NOT just a
Keystone Light either! Looks like the real thing to me. The WCST
is now taking contributions to pay the ransom. Please send your $.02 cents worth
to Intergallactic Headquarters and we'll arrange for her return sometime in
early March. She'll probably bring Pancho
back with her, as the "Hood" isn't
too picky about who moves in, (See "Intergallactic
News" section).
"Pancho" and "Patsy"